Last night, I was texting with a good friend who asked me if was OK. The back story is that my wife of almost 40 years decided she was not happy in our marriage, and she left me about two years and three months ago. I tried for about 6 months to seek reconciliation with her, but she had made-up her mind.
Since she left, I have gone through cycles of grief, depression, and numbness. I have battled anger, bitterness, and resentment. I have alternately gravitated between guilt and in self-justification
She filed for divorce a month ago, but I have been in limbo for over 2 years. I have felt out of sorts, off balance, and stuck. Neither of us can afford to keep the house and maintain it alone, so I have been clearing out 40 years worth of stuff, and I am living right now in a house with very little in it but boxes, two cats and a dog.
Though it was clear that she didn’t want to try to salvage our marriage, I hoped that we wouldn’t have to involve lawyers. I was hoping we could talk and come to an agreement on how to unravel ourselves without lawyers, but she stopped communicating with me (for the most part) when she left.
My attempts to open channels of communication have largely not been reciprocated, other than short, incomplete answers. Thus, I have felt stuck for over 2 years. Now the lawyers are involved, and it is out of my control (not that I was ever in control to begin with).
I have continued in my daily Bible reading. I could write very little for a long time, and whatever I wrote was a labor and a chore. I have continued to be faithful to the local church I attend, attending weekly small groups and Bible studies, as I can, and I continue to be involved in Administer Justice, a faith-based legal aid organization. I have continued to lean on God and lean into his presence in my life (more or less successfully at times), so I am doing OK
Thus, when my friend and sister in Christ asked me if I am doing OK, I said with honesty, “Yes, but I feel like I need to move on, and I need to regain my footing. I have been in limbo for over 2 years. I wish I could be content in my circumstances, but I am not there.”
As God would have it, read the following passage in my daily reading plan for the year this morning:
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ So then, I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may reside in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, with insults, with troubles, with persecutions and difficulties for the sake of Christ, for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NET
As I sit here stunned by the timing of this reading, I am struck that contentment is a choice that we make. It doesn’t just happen to us. We choose to be content in our circumstances.
Perhaps, it doesn’t mean that we must feel contentment. Perhaps it simply means that we choose to be content, to stop complaining, to stop waiting for things to change, to “seize the day”, as the popular saying goes, to let go of the excuses for why I am not doing everything I can do to be who God made me to be today.
I got out of bed this morning after reading these things and meditating on them, and I chose to worship God and praise Him instead of listening to a podcast, as I often do, while getting ready for the short ride into the office. God was with me as I offered a “sacrifice of praise”.
It was a sacrifice of praise, because I didn’t feel like praising Him! I often don’t, and it’s easier to occupy my mind with podcasts and music. There is nothing wrong with that, but I realized this morning that I need to be more intentional. I need to choose to be content and to praise God even when I don’t feel like it.
I have been meaning to write on unity in the Church for some time, but the subject has seemed too large for me to tackle. I am not a theologian. I took all the classes to be a religion major in college, but I didn’t hand in my thesis paper (on inerrancy), so I settled on being an English Literature major only.
Over the last 15 years, approximately, I been serious in reading Scripture and thinking (and writing) through the many difficult issues that face modern Christians. I have always been about “mere Christianity” since my earliest days as a Christ follower over 40 years ago, and I am convinced more than ever of the importance of being unified around basic or essential Christian principles.
My church is going through 1 Corinthians for the next several months or more, and the first chapter of the letter focuses on unity. I began writing about the need to be intentional – to agree – to end divisions and be unified in mind and purpose in Fighting for Unity in the Body of Christ.
I learned that the Greek word translated “mind” (or mindset”), nous, means more than just our thinking. It encompasses our attitude and disposition also. As we follow Jesus as he followed the Father, we should have same attitude/mindset that Jesus had.
Jesus is our pattern, and he calls us all to live as he lived, conforming to the same pattern he described when he said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35
Paul reminds us that Jesus left aside his privilege and humbled himself to become one of us. (Philippians 2) Paul adds that our knowledge and ability to fathom all mysteries are nothing if we don’t have love. (1 Corinthians 13:1-2) Therefore, our mindset – our attitude and disposition (love) toward one another – is vitally important in what it means to be unified in mind and purpose.
Unity does not just mean intellectual assent on matters of doctrine. Paul says that we only “know in part”. (1 Corinthians 13:12) We need to bear that mind, therefore, as we try to be obedient to the commandment to end divisions and be unified in mind and purpose.
This all begs the question, though: what mind and what purpose is Paul talking about? What is it that we must be intentional to agree about?
In the first article, I found some clues in the Greek meanings of the words translated “mind and purpose”, but they only scratch the surface. Thayer’s Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament, the Bauer, Danker, Arndt, and Gingrich Lexicon, and the Theological Dictionary of the New Testament all agree that νοῦς (nous) (translated mind) refers not only to the intellect, understanding, or reasoning faculty; it it also encompasses the mindset or disposition of a person.
Doctrine is implied in the concept of being of one mind, but doctrine is not all that this word implies. In fact, the summary of the Law Jesus provided for us (love God and love neighbor) seems to emphasize attitude and action over intellectual, theological constructs.
That doesn’t mean that Jesus was not doing theology when he summarized the Law. In fact, I think it is safe to say that we do theology far less perfectly than Jesus did!
We tend to complicate theology, but Jesus simplified it. In simplifying it, though, Jesus was not discounting or minimizing the rationality and intellectual rigor of it. Rather, Jesus was prioritizing the intellectual aspect of knowledge below below love. As Paul says: even if we can fathom all mysteries and have all knowledge, we have nothing without love. Love, therefore, is the priority over knowledge and understanding.
As we have already seen, the mindset we adopt must also incorporate our disposition and attitude toward God and each other. Any doctrine divorced from these things is empty. It is like a clanging gong without a symphony.
I think it is safe to say that doctrine, by itself, is devoid of life. Knowledge and understanding are nothing without love. It seems to me that love, even without knowledge or understanding, is better than knowledge and understanding without love.
Some might say though, that love cannot be divorced from truth. Jesus said that he is the way, truth and the life, so truth is obviously important.
But, not all truth is of the same value. It is true that today is sunny and warm in the Chicago area, but that truth is not nearly as important as the truth that Jesus is God incarnate who died on the cross for our sin and rose from the dead to redeem us from sin and death.
Having the same mind and purpose implies that we agree to the certain key value and truth propositions. It cannot mean that all of us view all value and truth propositions the same way. As finite beings who know only in part, that would be impossible! So what does Paul mean?
I have been reading in 1st and 2nd Corinthians these last few weeks in the Bible reading plan I am following this year. My church is also focusing on 1 Corinthians for the next few months, and we have been in 1 Corinthians 1 for the last two weeks of sermons and small group discussions.
Paul wrote what we call 1st Corinthians to address divisions in the church, ethical issues, relational issues, and differences over religious practices (among other things). The overarching theme of this letter seems to be an attempt to get this local church in southern Greece on the same page. In the first bit of guidance Paul provides, he says:
I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, to agree together, to end your divisions, and to be united by the same mind and purpose.
1 Corinthians 1:10
Unity (in Christ) is a focus of Paul in many of his letters: Romans 12:4-5; Ephesians 4:3-6, 13; Philippians 2:2; and Colossians 3:14. Peter also stressed like-mindedness in 1 Peter 3:8 (with sympathy, love, and compassion for one another in humility). John stressed love for one another in his letters (1 John 3 & 4; 2 John 1:5-6)) and working together. (3 John 1:8) James urged believers to be “peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” (James 3:17-18)
Paul, Peter, John and James are the pillars of the early church. Unity and love are stressed by them because it was stressed by Jesus. Jesus prayed for unity among the disciples and all who believed after them:
“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one — I in them and you in me— so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
JOhn 17:20-23
Jesus, of course, summarized the whole Law of God in two statements: Love God and love your neighbor. In his last extended discourse with the disciples at the Last Supper before the events unfolded that led to the cross, Jesus said:
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
JOhn 13:34-35
Love is the new command from Jesus that summarizes all that God sought to teach His people through the Law and the Prophets Therefore, when Paul urges the Church to be unified, we need to pay attention!
I recently heard Tim Alberta say that some modern evangelicals have picked up a sword, and that sword is Donald Trump. Such a sword is needed for success in a culture war, and a culture war mentality drives the politics of many, if not most, of evangelicals today.
Many evangelicals are concerned, if not fearful, of current cultural trends. People are pulling away from and rejecting traditional Christian values in the US. The change has been rapid (as far as cultural trends go). American society is going the way of Europe and Canada in letting go (and outright rejecting) Christian labels, overtly Christian thinking, and church attendance.
Perhaps, nothing demonstrates the cultural movement away from Christianity in the United States like the book, The Nones: Where They Came From, Who They Are, and Where They Are Going, by Ryan P. Burge. The author says that only five percent (5%) of Americans claimed “no religion” in a 1972 poll. That number rose to over twenty three percent (23%) by 2018. This made “nones” as numerous as Catholics or evangelicals in the US in 2018.
Nones are predominantly young Americans, but this trend does not just affect the nation’s youth, and it has picked up momentum since COVID. Robb Redman reports from various sources on community trends and culture for worshipleader.com, including the following:
70% of Americans were church members in 1999 (Gallup);
Less than 50% of Americans were church members in 2023 (Id.);
45 million Americans have stopped going to church in that time;
41% of Americans 39-57 went to church regularly in 2020 (Barna);
28% of Americans 39-57 went to church regularly in 2023 (Id.).
Ryan Burge partnered with Jim Davis and Michael Graham to explore the reasons for this precipitous decline in church membership and attendance and the rise in self-described nones in their recent book, The Great Dechurching. This book has become the topic of much conversation in the short time since it was published. I haven’t read the book yet, so I posed the question, “What are the top five reasons people have stopped going to church, listed from most common to least common”, to two different AI platforms. The results from Bing Co-Pilot are as follows:
Judgmental attitudes (87%)
Distrust of organized religion (74%)
Too focused on Money (70%)
Busy schedules (67%)
Loss of Habit (58%)
The Co-Pilot response summarized studies done by the Pew Research Center, Gallup Polls, the Barna Group, the Public Religion Research Institute and various academic studies to generate this list. I note that the first three reasons people have given for not attending church are issues with the Church I am referring to the Church (capital C) because I don’t know how this breaks down among denominations. The other two main reasons are unrelated to the Church; they reflect personal and societal lifestyle issues.
Chat GPT reported different results, citing some of the same sources (Pew and Barna) and some different sources (General Social Survey and books and articles, generally, including Sociology of Religion by Diana Butler Bass, an academic book). The Chat GPT list is not as straight forward:
“A growing disconnection with church teachings or religious beliefs” (about 60%-70%);
“Negative experiences, such as feeling judged or encountering hypocrisy” (about 30%-40%);
“A perceived irrelevance of church” and disconnectedness of the church to modern issues (about 25%-35%);
Busyness, lifestyle, time constraints, and changing priorities (about 20%-30%); and
Exploring alternative spirituality and religious practices (about 15%-25%).
Again, the first three (3) (and the most prominent) reasons for not attending church deal with the Church, itself. Worldviews are shifting away from the views held by the Church (which seems to indicate we are losing this “culture war”). The Church is perceived as disconnected from modern life and the modern world and not relevant to it, and the Church is perceived as overly negative and hypocritical.
The one area of overlap is the high percentage of people who list judgmental attitudes, including negative experiences and hypocrisy) as major reasons of not attending church. This is obviously a key issue (ranking 1st and 2nd respectively).
I find this to be highly problematic for the Church because the Paul plainly said the Church should not be (presently) judging the world (according to Paul (See What Business Do We Have Judging the World?)) And, Jesus said we should be known by the love we have for each other.
It seems pretty obvious to me in my own anecdotal experience that the American Church, generally, has some significant issues in this regard. We are not following Paul’s instruction not to judge the world, and we are failing to love each other well.
I recently watched a Gavin Ortlund critique of fundamentalism in the Church today that focuses on these issues. He says it well when he describes a segment of the Church that is focused more on what followers of Christ should against, rather than than what we should be for. When our focus is on the negative, our positive message is likely to be eclipsed and obscured and it lost in the noise.
I realize, of course, that this “indictment” of the Church generally, is a very broad brush. The church I attend does not fit this mold. Most of the Christians I have close relationships with do not fit this mold. We don’t have to look very far or deep on social media, however, to see evidence of judgmental attitudes, hypocrisy, and negativity.
It’s interesting to me that resources Co-Pilot pulled from identify more negatives (distrust of organized religion and too focused on money) in the top three reasons for not going to church, while the Chat GPT sources identified “growing disconnection with church teachings or religious beliefs” and perceived irrelevance of church” and disconnectedness of the church with modern issues. Distrust and money-focused have nothing to do with message, but disconnection with church teachings and a perceived irrelevance with modern issues has everything to do with message (theology).
Exploring alternative spirituality and religious practices (the 5th reason noted by the Chapt GPT response is related to the disconnection responses. I don’t know whether these things are causal or just symptomatic. If people were finding what they were looking for in church, they wouldn’t disconnect and look elsewhere. If their church experience wasn’t negative, they might still be connected.
On the other hand, both sources identify other things that are going on. Busyness, lifestyle, time constraints, and changing priorities are “neutral” pressures that are affecting not just churches, but service organizations, fraternal organizations, and other traditional ways people have gathered together.
We see a spike in this trend of disconnection from Church membership and attendance after COVID (pun intended). COVID seemed to supercharge changes that were already in the works in many areas of life. People were already disconnecting from face-to-face contact with other people with the proliferation of hand-held devices and social media going back at least to 2012. COVID isolated people even further.
Sociologist, Jean Twenge, finds sharp changes in teen behavior and mental health starting in 2012, which she attributes to teen use of smartphones and other hand-held devices. Her findings about the changes in the behavior of teens is a yardstick to measure the pulse of society.
A published interview with Twenge as Time Magazine’s Person of the Week, reports that “Gen Z is in the grips of a historic mental health crisis, with teenagers struggling with record levels of depression, anxiety, and loneliness.” Twenge, who has studied many generations of teens, discovered “big and sudden” changes in Gen Z starting around 2012, when hand-held devices became normalized among teens.
Those changes included, among other things, a doubling in the diagnosis of clinical depression among 12-17 year-olds from 2011 to 2019. At the same time, teens reported significantly less face time with other people corresponding significantly with more screen time. I have heard her say that teen pregnancy is down (which seems to be a good thing) because teens spend more time on their phones in their bedrooms alone than spending time with each other (which is problematic).
So, what does this have to do with Donald Trump and Christians fighting a culture war to try to preserve their power and influence in a society that seems to be pulling away from us? I seem to have wandered far afield, but now I am going to pull it in and get to the point.
It seems our culture needs Jesus more than ever. At the same time, people are do not see the benefits of knowing Jesus. At the very time when people need the grace and love of Christ most, people are being pushed away by judgmental attitudes and negative experiences. As people are struggling with isolation, polarization, and mental health issues, the Church is becoming more irrelevant, disconnected, and inaccessible to them.
Ironically, it seems to me, we are not only losing this culture war, the culture war seems to be the very thing that is pushing people away and isolating them from us. As we are circling our wagons defending ourselves against these “outsiders”, and attacking them from behind our theological walls, we have lost sight of the fact that Jesus sent us out into the world to bring the Gospel to the lost.
We cannot grow in maturity and holiness if our focus is on the sin of other people. We have a hard enough time recognizing and dealing with our own sin!
I have written previously about the parable of the log in a person’s eye who sees a speck of saw dust in another person’s eye. (See 8 Important Points about Judging and Judgment) Jesus says that we need to be careful about focusing on the specks in others’ eyes because of the logs in our own eyes. (Matthew 7:1-5)
Jesus is expressly talking about judging others, but the implications are much larger than that. They are about loving others, especially our brothers and sisters in the Lord. It is also about our posture to the world (those who do not know God in Christ, who gave Himself up for us).
We might be tempted to read what Jesus said and walk away thinking that we should not judge other people. That isn’t quite what Jesus says. Jesus says be careful in the way you judge others because the way you judge others is the way you will be judged. (Matt. 7:1-12)
We can’t get away from making judgments, which is nothing more, really, than the conclusions we reach based on what we know. We make judgments about innumerable things every day.
This is also not about Judgment (capital J). Only God has the authority to judge people, and God alone is a true Judge who can weigh all the facts accurately and completely. God alone knows our thoughts and our hearts. We can only judge by appearances, and we judge only from ground level.
When we see a speck in our brother’s eye, the parable should cause us to consider the logs in our own eyes, first. It’s a matter of perspective. What seems like a speck in someone else’s eye appears like a log when that speck is in my eye. Even so, humans have an unusual capacity to get used to those “logs” and forget they even exist.
One point of this parable is that we need to be dealing with our own sin as a matter of first priority. If sin is discovered in our brother, that discovery should cause us to consider first our own sin. I believe this is a fair reading of what Jesus is saying.
Jesus also does not tell us to leave our brother alone with a speck in his eye. Rather, he tells us to be considerate as we determine what to do about. We need to start by considering our own sin sinned (missing the mark) in our own lives. Then we need to approach our brother in the right attitude of heart, with empathy, realizing that we are not any better then our brother who’s speck we have observed.
Today, I have read what Paul says in Galatians 6:1-2 in my daily reading, and the parable about the log and the speck comes rushing back to me. I realize that Paul’s admonition in Galatians 6:1-2 harmonizes with what Jesus was taught his disciples in this parable:
“Brothers and sisters, if a person is discovered in some sin, you who are spiritual restore such a person in a spirit of gentleness. Pay close attention to yourselves, so that you are not tempted too. Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
Galatians 6:1-2 NET (Emphasis added)
I previously observed that we must be in relationship with others to do what Jesus has said (judge rightly). We should not be approaching anyone about a speck in their eye if we do not do it from the perspective of loving relationship (as brothers and sisters). We have to do this in the right relationship, or we will not do it right.
Navigating by Faith 