I wish I had read this (and taken it seriously) before we had kids.
Author: kevingdrendel
Remembering Jake Curby: the Weight of Glory

Just four years ago, a good friend of my son – a coach, a mentor, a teammate, a friend – died. Unexpectedly, he died. He was the epitome of strength and character, the product of hard work, moral fiber, faith and overcoming determination. He was a leader. He was a wrestler.
He was an overcomer. He fought off cancer and epilepsy in high school to place 5th as a senior in the Illinois State Wrestling tournament.
He was Jake Curby.
He coached my son to a runner up finish in the national Greco Roman wrestling tournament, and my son became his teammate at the Unites States Olympic Education Center. There Jake was a mentor, a beacon pointing the way to top of the Olympic ladder that Jake was climbing. From overcoming leukemia to 5th in the State wrestling tournament, from high school wrestling to earning a spot on the United States national team at 66kg in Greco Roman wrestling, Jake showed the way by doing it himself.
Jake Curby Climbing the Olympic Ladder
Jake returned from wrestling in Russia in January of 2010. He had jet lag from the time change. He was tired, but could not sleep. He went and worked out at the new senior level Greco Roman training center in Boise, ID where he was starting his final ascent to the top of the Olympic mountain. He returned to his home after the workout, and he died….
It was sudden and shocking. He was a specimen of strength, physical, character, emotional and otherwise. He had not had an issue with epilepsy for years. It seemed he had conquered that opponent, but he was worn out that day, tired and stressed by lack of sleep. Death came like a thief in the night and took him from us.
It was devastating to the USA Wrestling community, to the kids he coached, to his teammates and friends, to his family – to his fiancé – to all who knew him and celebrated his life. Few people at the age of 25 have the impact that Jake had, and few have been missed as much by so many people. He was the living example of a great human being with rock solid character and full of life.

Jake’s example lives on. His short, but full, life continues to be a source of inspiration for aspiring young people – not just wrestlers, but anyone who has a dream and dares to chase it. The Curby Cup that Jake’s father and mother and family and friends and the greater wrestling community have put on every year in the Chicago area is a testament to Jake’s life and the impact he has had on people. It is a marvelous event pulling in the best Greco Roman wrestlers in world to take on the best in the United States.
No one knows the day or hour that each person will breathe their last on this earth. There are no guaranties. What we do with the time that we have, the impact we have on those around us and how people remember us is our legacy. Jake is gone, but he still inspires. His sister, Courtney, has captured that sense of sacred time wonderfully in this short video.
Whether we live 25 years or 100 years, we all have the same end awaiting us. The time we have is a precious gift. There is no promise it will be easy. In fact, it most likely will not. It is in the striving, in the overcoming, in the courage to press on and to achieve the most that can be achieved with the raw material we have been given, that the fullness of being human is reached.
We live not as islands, as John Dunne penned, but are connected to the mainland of humanity. In all that we do, every single thing, we are influencing those around us for better or worse. Jake showed what it is like to live with a higher purpose and to dare to dream and chase those dreams with passion, determination, humility, good humor and grit.
Jake also showed the value of faith and the freedom that comes from leaving the things that we cannot change to the God who made us. That is the freedom that allows a person to run unhindered toward the goals before them without the baggage of worry, doubt, regret, fear or a hundred base emotions that pull at most of us like a pack of dogs on the hunt.
In the end, however, all of our human striving is empty, the medals and trophies and accolades are meaningless, without a connection to the God who made us. We can not take those prizes with us when we shuffle off these mortal coils…. but there is a better end awaiting us: a new beginning.
The gift of life that we have in jars of clay is a shadow of the eternal life that is promised by the God who dared to shed his own heavenly glory and walk humbly among us, suffering and dying a cruel death to show us that even death, itself, cannot hold Him…. And He offers that same gift to us.
The challenges and troubles believers face in this life are working in us an eternal glory that outweighs them all. We should all dare to dream of great things, but do not neglect to hitch those dreams to greater, eternal things. Our days chasing these earthly dreams will end. Jake’s dream ended, but a far greater glory awaited him and awaits us who set our hearts on God.
The Kernal and the Seed
God is not found in religion but in personal encounter.
Most people in American grew up with some connection to “the church” and to Christianity. Many, many people had just enough of a taste to reject it. I think that, when most people reject Christianity, they are rejecting the institution of the church.
People reject the principles they believe the church stands for and the hypocrisy they saw in the church. Indeed, I believe this because I was one of those people.
I have come to put that reality in perspective, however: the church, as most people perceive and know it, is a human institution. It is far from perfect. Every human frailty and weakness and shortcoming exists in the church – because people make up the church. That is the reality.
Further, the message that informs the church, the root and heart of it, the reason the church exists – the Gospel – is not always readily apparent in the church. Some churches are closer to the expression of it than others, but churches, generally fall short of the ideals of the Gospel.
I do not mean to point fingers at anyone or judge anyone. I think it is sufficient for purposes of what I am trying to say to assume that this is true to some degree or another in every church, even the best of them. I am going to say some things next that may make churchgoers upset, but bear with me.
Monogamy is unnatural
Monogamous marriages are unnatural. On this, I agree with the emailer below.
Now, behold these enlightening thoughts that I found in my inbox this morning:
Greetings Mr. Walsh,
I am a college professor, author, and researcher. It was obvious to me before you ever stated it that you are a man of little education and limited intelligence. Still, I commend your newfound fame and congratulate you on the enormous amounts of money you must be making.
[Five more sentences of insults and pretentious self-aggrandizement]
…You have become a hot topic in some of my classes and this very much worries me. It wasn’t until your name came up for a fifth time that I decided to investigate you. Your prose are rife with fallacies and Neanderthalic musings, so I could easily disembowel and discredit any part of it. But I’d like to concentrate on what seems to be your most common themes:…
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2013 Year in Review: As I Saw It

I have added a new look to the blog and have made some other changes that I will address at the end. In the meantime, I have done some reflecting on this past year in Navigating by Faith. I began writing because I enjoy it and feel compelled to write. Writing is a way to find meaning and capture it as time slips on day to day, week to week, month to month and year to year. If my reflection can trigger reflection in others, I have accomplished something and helped others to “smell the roses” find perspective and grow.
I began this blog as a way to mark my faith journey, tap into a deeper well of meaning on the way and provide, perhaps, helpful perspective for others on a similar journey. Much of what I have written is retrospective, reflecting on milestones in my faith progression dating back to college and before. I have explored passages and themes in the Bible, which I view as the inspired “Word of God”; I have attempted to engage doubters, agnostics and atheists; I have explored perspectives on current events and addressed things that are important to me.
For what it is worth, I have categorized the past year’s blog posts below. These categories are different than the tags and keywords that are attributed to each post and every post collectively. It is my way or wrapping up the year putting the year of writing in perspective. I hope that those of you who have read any of these posts have enjoyed them, have been challenged by some and maybe even have been inspired by some to dig deeper and to break the through hard veneer built up by the busyness of life that pressures us to rush past on the superficial surface of life.
This is the Year in Review in Navigating by Faith:
Faith Milestones in my Life – This topic is, perhaps, the main impetus to the start of this blog.
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Why the Bible This piece describes my initial reaction to the Bible in college in World Religions class and the ongoing significance of that first impression 30+ years later.
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Lighting Out for the Wild West Another turning point in my life came in a combined History/American Literature class
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The Joy of C.S. Lewis These are my reflections on the life of C.S. Lewis on the 50th anniversary of his death and the lasting impression he has made on my life
Bible Passages and Themes – The Bible informs my faith and is the continual point of reference
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The “Do’s” and “Don’ts” Don’t Do It We focus on what we do and how we appear; while God focuses on how we think and who we are
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Troubles Mark the Way The Bible does not promise us happiness and prosperity, but troubles and difficulties
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Rascals for God Using our God-given talents and gifts for others & storing up treasures in heaven
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Calvin & Will Reflections on what the Bible says about free will vs. predestination – my only foray into theology
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Inner Realities and Outer Reflections Reflections on that fact the God looks at men’s’ hearts while we tend to focus on outward things
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Message in a Manager A reflection on the fact that Jesus did not come with trumpets and a blaze of glory and what that means
Christian Music – As someone who is outward looking in my faith, I am intrigued by musicians with a similar view
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Switchfoot My reflections on an article “Why Switchfoot Will Not Sing Christian Songs”
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Michael Gungor Reflections on an article by Michael Gungor of what is wrong with the Christian music industry
Outward Looking Articles on Faith – I have a certain ambivalence in my writing motivation. Sometimes I find myself wanting to focus on the Bible and its deeper message for believers, but often I am find myself wanting to address an audience of doubters and unbelievers. These are kind of hybrid pieces
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What if the Kingdom of God Consideration of life after death addressed to the doubter
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Perspective A short reflection putting life in perspective
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The Best and Hardest Things A reflection on getting and taking advice
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Love Your Enemies Every Day An exploration of biases and personal tendencies in light of Jesus’ instruction to love your neighbors, inspired by a remarkable story of a black man who befriended and changed the views of many former members of the Ku Klux Klan
Bridging Science and Faith/Apologetics – I became a believer in a secular, humanistic, college environment. I am always wanting to address people who are, like I was, outside the faith, to defend Christianity, to show people that intellect does not need to be checked at the door to heaven and to help people past their doubts
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The DNA of Words Reflection on interesting experiments using spoken words and influencing DNA that suggest the power of the spoken word and a tie in to the Bible
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It is Not So Hard to Imagine Reflections on Hootsuite and how the ability of God to communicate intimately to all people at once is not so farfetched
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Bias Revealed in What we Consider and Fail to Consider Reflections on an example of bias of skeptics
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Putting Out Tow in the Water of the Universe Thoughts inspired by voyager leaving our solar system
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The Sufficiency of Proof and Human Longing A simple reflection on the juxtaposition of faith experience and skeptical thinking
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The Idol of the Mind Reflections on the bias and predisposition of people that may claim to be objective and scientific, but are far from it
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The Science of Doubt Thoughts on the source and motivations of doubt in light of a scientific study on the characteristics of doubt
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Who Wrote the Gospels Thoughts inspired by a fascinating study of the names and places referenced in the four canonical Gospels compared to the apocryphal and pseudo apocryphal gospels
Sports/Wrestling – Wrestling is such a part of my life and faith journey, that it always seeps in to my thoughts; but I could not refrain from commenting after the announcement of the IOC committee of its recommendation to drop wrestling from the Olympics
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A Long Slow Divorce An account of my disillusionment with professional sports
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Illinois Legislators Weigh In on Wrestling in the Olympics Wrestling is such a part of my life, that I could not be silent in the wake of the IOC committee recommendation to drop wrestling from the Olympics
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How Wrestling Impacted My Life: An Argument for Keeping Wrestling in the Olympics This is self-explanatory, not from me, but from Todd Hagopian inspired by Jay Mohr
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Jay Mohr’s Incredible Olympic Wrestling Rant Transcribed Many people came out in defense of Olympic wrestling, one of the good things to come from the IOC Committee recommendation
Theater – Theater is a new faith path for me. My 5th son is part of Spotlight Youth Theater, a Christian organization, which opens up a new canvass for reflections on faith
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9 Ways a Theater Degree Trumps a Business Degree Theater has taken a front and center position in my life recently, and this article is a result of that
Current Events –
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The Face of Evil The Boston marathon tragedy was major news in 2013 and provoked widespread response. I take a different view in this piece, inspired by one of those milestones in my college life
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No Man’s Land These comments were provoked by the cold, inhumanity of the convicted Philadelphia abortion doctor
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When Words Become Fact It was hard to avoid thinking about the Affordable Care Act in 2013, and these comments were triggered by an article written by someone else
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Shutdown the Political Game The government shutdown was also hard to ignore. These reflections attempt to put the government shut down in some perspective
The Most Read Article
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Six Attributes of Success This piece was inspired by Jordan Burroughs winning the world wrestling championships with metal plates and screws in his ankle, six weeks after the devastating injury. It stands on its own and draws from my own experience and my own children. This piece garnered the most comments of any article for the year. It covers almost every category – faith, currents events, sports/wrestling, my own faith journey, even apologetics in the sense that faith inspires, and has inspired, many great people who accomplished great things.
Throughout the year, I began to experience a tension in my writing. The ambivalence in me in regard to the audience I wanted to address came to a head, and I started a new blog – Perspective – to provide a forum for writing to an audience that is not chiefly made up of believers. I still wrestle with that ambivalence. With the apologetic pieces I have written, I feel like I am preaching to the choir. I imagine I will continue to wrestle through what this blog should be and who the audience is (should be). Perhaps, the answer may lie partly in what I feel most compelled to write about; but what people want to read also enters into the equation.
For the second part of the equation, please post your thoughts, comments, criticisms, encouragement – whatever feedback you can give me. It is all appreciated! Thank you.


