Category: Faith

Contentment in Weakness

“‘My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness’ …. Therefore I am content with weaknesses….”

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Last night, I was texting with a good friend who asked me if was OK.  The back story is that my wife of almost 40 years decided she was not happy in our marriage, and she left me about two years and three months ago. I tried for about 6 months to seek reconciliation with her, but she had made-up her mind.

Since she left, I have gone through cycles of grief, depression, and numbness. I have battled anger, bitterness, and resentment. I have alternately gravitated between guilt and in self-justification

She filed for divorce a month ago, but I have been in limbo for over 2 years. I have felt out of sorts, off balance, and stuck. Neither of us can afford to keep the house and maintain it alone, so I have been clearing out 40 years worth of stuff, and I am living right now in a house with very little in it but boxes, two cats and a dog.

Though it was clear that she didn’t want to try to salvage our marriage, I hoped that we wouldn’t have to involve lawyers. I was hoping we could talk and come to an agreement on how to unravel ourselves without lawyers, but she stopped communicating with me (for the most part) when she left. 

My attempts to open channels of communication have largely not been reciprocated, other than short, incomplete answers. Thus, I have felt stuck for over 2 years. Now the lawyers are involved, and it is out of my control (not that I was ever in control to begin with).

I have continued in my daily Bible reading. I could write very little for a long time, and whatever I wrote was a labor and a chore. I have continued to be faithful to the local church I attend, attending weekly small groups and Bible studies, as I can, and I continue to be involved in Administer Justice, a faith-based legal aid organization. I have continued to lean on God and lean into his presence in my life (more or less successfully at times), so I am doing OK

Thus, when my friend and sister in Christ asked me if I am doing OK, I said with honesty, “Yes, but I feel like I need to move on, and I need to regain my footing. I have been in limbo for over 2 years. I wish I could be content in my circumstances, but I am not there.”

As God would have it, read the following passage in my daily reading plan for the year this morning:

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ So then, I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may reside in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, with insults, with troubles, with persecutions and difficulties for the sake of Christ, for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NET

As I sit here stunned by the timing of this reading, I am struck that contentment is a choice that we make. It doesn’t just happen to us. We choose to be content in our circumstances. 

Perhaps, it doesn’t mean that we must feel contentment. Perhaps it simply means that we choose to be content, to stop complaining, to stop waiting for things to change, to “seize the day”, as the popular saying goes, to let go of the excuses for why I am not doing everything I can do to be who God made me to be today.

I got out of bed this morning after reading these things and meditating on them, and I chose to worship God and praise Him instead of listening to a podcast, as I often do, while getting ready for the short ride into the office. God was with me as I offered a “sacrifice of praise”.

It was a sacrifice of praise, because I didn’t feel like praising Him! I often don’t, and it’s easier to occupy my mind with podcasts and music. There is nothing wrong with that, but I realized this morning that I need to be more intentional. I need to choose to be content and to praise God even when I don’t feel like it.

Opinions, Heresy & Unity in Christ: Judging and Despising Believers

Let us pursue what makes for peace and for building up one another

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I am not sure how to write about the things that I believe God has laid on my heart today. I will start, though, by explaining the combination of things that give rise to my thoughts, and I will try my best, relying on the leading of the Holy Spirit and whatever wisdom I have, in humility and full reliance upon the grace of God, to address these things that weigh on my heart today

My thoughts rise out of a combination of my daily scripture reading and regular podcast listening. I have been reading through the New Testament on a year long plan created by the Bible Project. I am in Romans 14 today. These are some excerpts from Romans 14 that stand out:

“Now receive the one who is weak in the faith, and do not have disputes over differing opinions….
“Who are you to pass judgment on another’s servant? [speaking of followers of Christ as servants of God]….
“But you who eat vegetables only – why do you judge your brother or sister? And you who eat everything – why do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God….
So then, let us pursue what makes for peace and for building up one another.”

Romans 14:1,4, 10, 19

I have not reproduced the entire Chapter here to be efficient with space, but I encourage anyone who wants to dig in deeper to read all of Romans 14. I have added emphasis where the text has spoken to me.

Paul’s example of eating meat vs. not eating meat is one that doesn’t divide people in churches today, though it might divide vegans and vegetarians from “meat eaters” in our contemporary secular society. (What we eat and our religiosity about it has divided people, I guess, for 2000 years.)

“One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him.”

Romans 14:2-3

Frankly, people tend to become divided over just about anything and everything. Paul uses the example of eating and of sacred days to illustrate his point about not despising and not judging each other when we have disagreements:

“One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God.”

Romans 14:5-6

Paul says that each of us must give account to God for our own lives. Each of us must follow our own consciences that guide us with the help of the Holy Spirit, and we need to allow space with an attitude of grace for other people to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling in the same way.

Of course, we also have the Holy Spirit to guide us. How our own consciences and the Holy Spirit guide us is a bit of a mystery, though. They are not the same things. We have the Holy Spirit, but we also have our individual consciences. Paul references them both in his writings, and each plays a part in the way we understand and follow Christ in our lives.

The Holy Spirit, of course, is infallible, but our consciences are not.

And, that is the rub. We have this treasure in earthen vessels. We are finite beings, and our individual (and collective) perspectives are limited by the age we live in, the country and culture we are born in, our own abilities, experiences, and myriad factors that influence and shape us. How we internalize and process what the Holy Spirit “says” to us is going to vary from person to person and from people to people.

I recently heard someone say that we each approach Scripture from where we sit. People sit in difference “places” in respect to the Gospel at different times in history, in different cultures, and in different areas of the world. Experts in missions warn of the danger of unwittingly smuggling in our own human perspectives when we take the Gospel to different people groups.

The differences in perspective are not just factors for disparate people groups in far flung regions of the world. People in the seemingly homogenous sphere of the United States of America in the 21st Century are not so homogenous – even among Bible-believing, Jesus-loving people.

I’ll give you an example that stopped me in my tracks in 2016. Polls report that about 80% of people who identify as evangelical (which means white in political polls) voted for Trump, while 80% of blacks who attend church on a regular basis and are theologically conservative did not vote for Trump.

These are people who would largely agree with each other on traditional Christian values, but they “sit” in different places in respect to how they live out following Jesus politically. For white evangelicals, abortion is the political benchmark. For churchgoing blacks, racial and minority issues are paramount.

I should not have to say that God grieves all injustice and all sin. It’s easy to label each other “white supremacists” or “woke progressives” and miss the obvious fact that we all claim Jesus as our Lord and Savior. We all have the Holy Spirit to guide us, and we do the best we can from where we sit to follow the Spirit and our consciences.

Having listened to many black voices since 2016 (because I realized I was missing something), I learned that most black Christians believe that abortion is wrong. They believe in traditional family values, and they are at odds with the Democratic party on those issues. I also learned that a large segment of those “white evangelical’s” in political polls don’t even attend church more than once or twice a year, if that.

Another less controversial example from my own life illustrates what Paul talks about in Romans 14. I grew up in a family of responsible social drinkers. Family gatherings included a “cocktail hour” before meals, but I never observed family members getting drunk.

During my rebellious youth, and before I became a believer, however, I was a reckless, irresponsible drinker. I drank often and to great excess. When I became a Christian, I didn’t touch alcohol for many years, and I was tempted to believe that no one else should either.

My views on this subject have been tempered by the wisdom that comes with age and experience and the gentle grace of the Holy Spirit. Paul would say I was weak in my faith, and I admit that I became judgmental over it because I projected my weakness onto everyone else.

Paul says in Romans 14 that people who are weak in their own faith become judgmental. The danger of people who have a strong faith and a secure conscience is to despise those who are weaker. Paul urges us to resist both tendencies.

But, let me get to my point. I am increasingly concerned with judgmental attitudes over issues on a par with eating, drinking, and sacred days are doing damage in the modern Church. Paul would say that we need to focus our attention on “pursu[ing] what makes for peace and for building up one another.” Unfortunately, we spend far too much energy judging each other and tearing each other down.

This is nothing new, of course. Paul wrote an entire letter to the Church in Corinth that he led off with this exhortation:

“I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, to agree together, to end your divisions, and to be united by the same mind and purpose.”

1 Cor. 1:10
Continue reading “Opinions, Heresy & Unity in Christ: Judging and Despising Believers” →

A Tale of Two Processions, Two Kingdoms, and the Triumph of God

Two processions, two kingdoms clashing, and God’s triumph in the death of God incarnate on the cross

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Episode 124 – Statement of Triumph – from the BEMA Podcast, with Marty Solomon and Brent Billings, inspires my writing today. It was the subject of discussion for the Saturday morning Bible study I have attended off and on with an exceptional group of men for several years.

The subject was Matthew 21:1-11. The chapter heading in the NIV translation (which would not have appeared in the original text, because there were no chapter headings in the original text) is “Jesus Comes to Jerusalem as King”.

This is usually how we read it: a “triumphal entry”. We celebrate it as a triumph, and it was. But not perhaps in the way we tend to think about it. Certainly, not in the way the erstwhile followers of Jesus perceived it when it happened.

Marty Solomon sets the stage in the podcast, noting that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey during the week of Passover, an unusually tense time in this region of the Roman world. The uneasy tension arose in that time in that region because it was home to the only group of people in the Roman Empire who refused to worship the Emperor.

The Jewish people were stubbornly true to their God. Even so, Rome allowed the Jews to have their own ruler, Herod the Great. Herod was Jewish and powerful in his own right, but he was happy to be propped up by the Romans, and the Romans accommodated him to maintain stability in the region.

Even so, this small piece of real estate was problematic for Rome. It sat at the crossroads of the earth. The Hebrew people long inhabited it, but they were a headache for the Romans because of their entrenched religious traditions and unabated worship of their God.

When Herod the Great died, three of sons took over different areas of this land that Herod ruled as a vassal of the Romans. Herod Phillip ruled the north (Caesaria Phillippi). Herod Antipas ruled the middle region, and Herod Archelaus ruled in the south (Judea).

Archelaus only lasted two years, so Rome brought in its own ruler, Pontius Pilate (the Roman Bulldog), to maintain Rome’s control over the region. Pilate didn’t live in Jerusalem. Pilate lived in Caesarea Maritime (Caesarea, By the Sea), a city built by Herod to honor Caesar.

The week of Passover would have been a particularly tense time in Jerusalem, the Jewish holy city. Jews from all over were in town to celebrate the feast that remembered their great deliverance and triumph over the superpower of an earlier time, Egypt. The last thing that Rome wanted was for this celebration to get out of hand after rebel Jews got all fueled up with wine and remembrance of their former deliverance.

If there was any holiday that might make the Romans nervous in Judea, it was Passover. Zealots were always stirring up trouble, and Passover would be the most opportune time for a Jewish revolt against the Roman rule of this territory that the Jews long held out as their own. After all, the Jews still believed this land was to be theirs again through based on their understanding of prophecies about a military coup to be led by a messiah (savior) in the line of their once great King, David.

Every year at this time Pontius Pilate would head south from Caesarea down the coastal road to Joppa. He would head east from Joppa to make his way into Jerusalem. Pilate would enter Jerusalem from the west. He traveled with great pomp and a show of force, with an army of soldiers, trumpeters, heralds, banners, and pronouncements. Pilate would lead the way on a white stallion symbolizing Roman conquest and rule.

This show of power, of course, was intentional. I found the article, In Through the Back Door, September 24, 2022, by Terry Gau that describes these yearly processions made by Pilate into Jerusalem at the beginning of Passover week. He cites historians, John Dominic Crossen and Marcus Borg, in their book, Last Week, memorializing the historical and political context for the final chapter of Jesus’ ministry on earth. the procession is described this way:

“Traditionally, Pilate paraded into Jerusalem on the first day of Passover Week, entering the west gate – the front gate – with legions of chariots, horses, and foot soldiers, dressed for battle and armed with swords and spears.  Rome’s authority would not be questioned.  The majesty with which Pilate enters the front door of the city was meant to inspire awe and fear, respect and obedience.”

Marty Solomon says,

“You could have heard him coming from miles away. The message he wanted to send to the Jews was clear. ‘Don’t even think about it! Keep everything under control, or Rome will crush you!’”

BEMA Podcast, Episode 124

Pilate would stay in Herod’s palace in Jerusalem for the week until the festivities ended. Then he would go back to Caesarea. He wasn’t there to celebrate, though. He was there to ensure things didn’t get out of hand and to keep the peace.

During one Passover week under the rule of Pontius Pilate in Judea another procession took place. It may have even happened on the same day at the same time that Pilate was entering the City from the west. This procession took place on the east side of Jerusalem where Jesus, riding on a lowly young donkey with a small, rag tag bunch of unarmed disciples entered through the east gate – the back door to Jerusalem.

“This parade was just as carefully staged as Pilate’s entry into Jerusalem. It was a counter-procession, a different vision of what a Kingdom should be, a subversive action against the powers that ruled Jerusalem. Jesus’ humble, yet triumphal, entry into Jerusalem stood in contrast to the magnificence and brutality on display at the opposite end of the city. Jesus brings peace, while Pilate brings a sword.”

In Through the Back Door

This was the backdrop for episode 124 of the BEMA Podcast and of our discussion. I sit writing at a temporary table with one chair left in my house that is all but cleaned out and being readied for sale. My future is uncertain as I recount one of the most pivotal times in human history and the dealings of God with man and what it means for us, today.

Continue reading “A Tale of Two Processions, Two Kingdoms, and the Triumph of God” →

C.S. Lewis, Longevity and Perspective

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C.S. Lewis & Longevity

I read the article I am reblogging here with some mixed feelings, as I have now outlived the incomparable C.S. Lewis. That he accomplished so much with such great lasting value gives me pause as I near the age of 65 and slowly begin to realize that I am on the downside slope of my life. I don’t know how many years, months, and days I have left, but I know that they are numbered.

The article highlights the way CS Lewis discounted longevity. He couldn’t have known, of course, that he would not see his 64th birthday.

The value in our lives is not in how long we live, but in how well we live.

Diving for Pearls in the stories of Dustin Kensrue and Mark Driscoll

Dustin Kensrue’s music is as good as ever, but it comes with the melancholy of what used to be.

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I recently spent some time listening to Dustin Kensrue’s new album, Desert Dreaming. I like his music, and the new album is good. The first song I heard, though, reminded me of the rumors that he has walked away from orthodox Christianity:

When I left town, I was swept up
With the visions of a man from Galilee
Along the way, I lost my bearings
I got swallowed up by sins of certainty

The heart of sedona

The words to this song triggered a desire to research the truth. Kensure was an impactful Christian musician who wrote the worship album of the year not to many years ago. I wondered, therefore, why he walked away (if indeed he did).

I learned that Kensrue was a former worship leader for Mars Hill, the failed church that rose to the heights of evangelical influence with many campuses, only to collapse with the failings of its erstwhile leader, Mark Driscoll.

Listening to the song, Heart of Sedona, off Kensrue’s new album, Desert Dreaming, gave me pause. The words seem to confirm the rumor, and the story seems all too familiar lately.

His music is as good as ever, but it comes with the melancholy of what used to be. Or maybe it never was. It’s hard to know how to process the deconstruction of someone else’s faith.

Given the back story (involvement in a failed church movement), I suspected his “deconstruction” (and many other artists who seem to have followed a similar path) may be symptomatic of some malady that has infected Evangelical Christianity.

My entre into Kensrue’s story begin with the article, It’s Not Enough: Dustin Kensrue’s Turning Away, which is where I learned that Kensrue was intimately involved in the toxic environment of the Mars Hill church movement led by Driscoll, a controversial and polarizing personality.

I had heard of the rise and fall of Mark Driscoll and the Mars Hill Church, but I did not jump on the curiosity bandwagon when people associated with Christianity Today produced the podcast, The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill. I only heard about it, and I had listened to a discussion of the podcast on another podcast. Therefore, I finally felt a need to hear it firsthand to gain some perspective.

The podcast describes the talent and bravado of Mark Driscoll, who was also polarizing and toxic and seemingly proud of it. Driscoll was staunchly reformed in his theology with a cultish personality and a flair for the dramatic. He attracted people on the edges of faith in the notoriously countercultural Seattle area. I summarized some of my thoughts on what I learned in Keeping It Real for the Church: Talent in Tension with Character)

I have also gone back, now, through the tweets highlighted in the article I noted above, and I have poured over Dustin Kensrue’s Twitter (X) feed to gain further insight. These things give me additional food for thought in considering the “deconstruction” of Dustin Kensrue as it relates to the American Evangelical Church.

Though I have spent considerable time researching these things, my thoughts remain preliminary and exploratory. I am not certain that I have gained sufficient perspective to be clear or certain of any conclusions, but all this seems to confirm my sense that the story is symptomatic of a problem with the American Evangelical Church.

In fact, the original article I found, itself, seems to be symptomatic of issues in the American Evangelical Church. These issues may also be reflected in current American culture, affected as it is by social media. I apologize for the length of this article, but I am afraid I do not do much more than scratch the surface here.

Continue reading “Diving for Pearls in the stories of Dustin Kensrue and Mark Driscoll” →