
I don’t use the phrase “thoughts and prayers” anymore. If you have been on social media in the last however many years, you know why. That phrase has been a typical and favored response to tragedy and hardship as long as I can remember, but it meets now with harsh rebukes.
I wince every time.
As a Christian for 40 years, I hold prayer sacred, even if I fall somewhat short in my own prayer life. A statement that I am thinking of you and praying for you and your situation is a polite staple of good manners. It is a benevolent expression of good will.
Some of the most vocal critics of “thoughts and prayers” hate and despise my Christian faith. Their criticism is full of venom.
The criticism is aimed at Christians, so I took it personally. I believe in prayer. I believe in the need to rely on God and turn to Him for guidance and wisdom. Just because you don’t believe in prayer doesn’t mean that prayer is an improper response for the person who believes.
At the same time, I have come to realize that I need to follow Christ instead of responding in anger. It’s taken me some years, but I have realized something about our public proclamations of “thoughts and prayers” that I hadn’t seen – maybe wasn’t willing to see – before.
We say, “thoughts and prayers”, in response to a cancer diagnosis, or a loved one’s death, or the loss of a job or other hardship or misfortune. We can say it so much, it can become barely more meaningful than wishing someone a good day. Still, it’s a proper thing to say, especially if we mean it.
School shootings and similar tragedies have taken a toll on that benevolent phrase. Our public statements of “thoughts and prayers” have been exposed as hollow sentiments be people who urge gun control. That some people who are quick to offer “thoughts and prayers” are just as quick to shoot down discussions of smarter and more effective gun control smacks of hypocrisy.
I have bristled at the implied criticism. I don’t own guns. I don’t own a FOID card. I am not a gun enthusiast. I am ambivalent on the 2nd Amendment, but I am not (have not been) sure of the right way to go about dealing with the mass shooting phenomenon in our country.
Social media is like a scatter bomb, not a surgical strike. It lends itself to blasting everyone in the direction aimed. Memes are the epitome of mindless criticism. Perhaps, that’s why I bristle so much. It’s so unproductive!
A perfectly good and proper response has been turned into a meme by a meme!
On the other hand, I have come to realize that my feeling of being personally affronted has led me into the very error that I bristle against. Overgeneralizing and failing to deal with nuance is the bane of social media and modern society, and I am also susceptible to it.
Platitudes do wear thin. In the aftermath of another wanton mass shooting that took the lives of 19 fourth graders and their 2 teachers, platitudes ring especially hollow. How many times can we say, “thoughts and prayers”, about a clear problem we have in our country that does not happen with the same frequency in any other developed country in the world?
When will we gain the will to do something about it? Do we care to do anything about it? We have to care, but what do we do?
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