This dark morning I arise

Not of my own doing,

My heart pounding and lungs heaving

Through no conscious will.

The things I control, I fail to control.

Two faced, oil and water, opposite poles,

I’m a hypocrite, and I know it.

What hope is there for me?

I can’t even follow the path I chose,

I am incapable of sustaining my own way.

Integrity is lost in the trying.

My only hope is in One who died for me.

He died, and rose, of His violation alone.

My heart pounds and lungs heave because of Him.

I am aware and I live because He gives me life.

I am utterly done and undone.