The words in the blog post I am reblogging here are honest, genuine and raw. Take a moment to read what Rae has to say before reading on here:
I type these words with the heaviest of hearts. My deepest fear realized. I am at a breaking point in my faith. Of that I am certain. I don’t know how much longer I can believe in a God who allows such intense misery and unbearable agony befall those whom He loves. I’ve read the […]
We all feel like that way from time to time. But let’s face it, some people have had a rougher road than others. We all face our trials and walk through our dark valleys, but some people really do face tougher trials and darker valleys than others.
Depression is a crushing experience for anyone who experiences it, and believers, perhaps more than unbelievers, are tormented by it because we are supposed to be able to rise above it. But sometimes we can’t. It smothers us, and we can’t escape.
Anyone who has been raped or physically or emotionally abused carries the trauma of that experience in the inner recesses of the soul where the pain lies, threatening to resurface at any time. That pain is real. It takes on a life of its own. It threatens to swallow us up. It threatens to undo us and worse, to become us, to control our very being and, by doing that, to define us.
With my voice I cry out to the LORD;
with my voice I plead for mercy to the LORD.
I pour out my complaint before him;
I tell my trouble before him.
When my spirit faints within me,
you know my way! Psalm 42:1
Though we don’t all experience the same depth or breadth of pain and sorrow as each other, we all experience enough of it that we can relate. More importantly, God can relate.
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?
2 O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer,
and by night, but I find no rest. Psalm 22:1-2
These words were spoken by David when David’s world was turned upside down by a combination of his own failings and his family and friends who turned on him and sought his life. He had known the joy of victory and the sweet taste of success, and he lost it all in a moment. He was desperate, hiding out in cave, lonely and depressed.
But these words are not just David’s words. They became the words of our Lord, Jesus. While we unwillingly and out of our own control find ourselves in these dark, desperate times, God willingly emptied himself of His glory and station and entered into our situation, becoming one of us.
He didn’t come with fanfare, but with light and moment was born into a humble estate where He experienced life as an ordinary person. And He not only took on our form and experience; He subjected Himself to obedience and to a singular purpose that He knew would place Him into the anguish, isolation, loneliness and desperation that only a human heart can feel.
God willingly did these things for us. He is not a God who is far off. He is not a God who doesn’t understand the human condition. Though He is Light, He understands the darkness we experience – because He experienced it too.
If you are feeling like Rae, for whatever reason, or for no reason at all – depression and darkness doesn’t need a reason – listen to the words of Ravi Zaccharias. He, himself, is not unacquainted with depression and suffering. He has the unique perspective of a man who grew up in the east, a Hindu who also knows the tenets of Buddhism. He captures like no one else can the distinctive essence of our Lord, Jesus, who alone has the answer for our human condition.